Dragonses be mighty and bold,
with with flashing, jewel eyes,
and teeths of pure gold.
Dragonses will fly over you in the deep of the night,
And, when confronted...
they be not afraid of a fight.
Dragonses like fairies an' elves
they like treasures and secrets...
but they mainly like themselves.
Dragonses be shiny and scary and wise
but don't try to run from them,
cuz they also knows how to fly...s.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Screaming Muscles, but Still Chuggin' Along
OK, to be fair to myself, I need to first state that I have been a procrastinator since birth, seriously, I was born 5 weeks late!
That being said, I have been working hard the past few weeks to overcome my procrastinator tendencies...until yesterday.
Here's the situation...I have my Teacher Work Sample due this coming week...I have had 14 weeks to work on this...and I have approximately 2 of the 7 sections done. So, what did I do? I sat down and messed around for about 2 hours, roaming Facebook, and the internet at large...before I gave up and went down to my yard to work.
I dug up an entire flower bed...I'm talking top soil and all here folks. I then proceeded to replace my eco friendly flower bed border, and then to knock all of the usable dirt off of the top soil, etc. and then mixed in some bagged top soil with the added vitamins and nutrients stuff that the lovely people at Miracle grow put into their "bag o' dirt", dirt.
After I'd gotten that done I planted two types of tulips in my ring o' flowers (what is it with me and the usage of 0' today!?...I dunno either...just go with me here.) They are very pretty in the package pictures...so we'll see how they grow up to look. They were Wally world Susan Komen breast-Cancer awareness products...so are naturally..pink!
And , that's how my journey goes so far. As for today, I have now reorganized my bookmarks, checked my facebook, volunteered to crochet stuff for preemies, and written what is probably one of the longest blogs I have ever written.....SO, I am now going to cease my procrastinating and get the silly TWS finished!! So, I can stop procrastinating on my 8 page Senior Seminar paper...that has to be written in Spanish...Ay ya ya! =)
That being said, I have been working hard the past few weeks to overcome my procrastinator tendencies...until yesterday.
Here's the situation...I have my Teacher Work Sample due this coming week...I have had 14 weeks to work on this...and I have approximately 2 of the 7 sections done. So, what did I do? I sat down and messed around for about 2 hours, roaming Facebook, and the internet at large...before I gave up and went down to my yard to work.
I dug up an entire flower bed...I'm talking top soil and all here folks. I then proceeded to replace my eco friendly flower bed border, and then to knock all of the usable dirt off of the top soil, etc. and then mixed in some bagged top soil with the added vitamins and nutrients stuff that the lovely people at Miracle grow put into their "bag o' dirt", dirt.
After I'd gotten that done I planted two types of tulips in my ring o' flowers (what is it with me and the usage of 0' today!?...I dunno either...just go with me here.) They are very pretty in the package pictures...so we'll see how they grow up to look. They were Wally world Susan Komen breast-Cancer awareness products...so are naturally..pink!
I can't wait to see how they turn out.
I of course...still had energy to spare and was not even close to being ready to go back home to mom and dad's and actually work on my paper. So, I wandered around my house (it's a 3 season house and I can't afford to stay there yet, but hopefully will be able to soon!) and planted my rhubarb plant.
Now, I have to share the story of this plant with you. (More confessions of procrastination here.) I bought this plant last........May (as in a year ago...*sigh), with the honest intention of planting right away in my yard. Alas, that poor plant sat in it's cheap, plastic greenhouse pot...through the entire summer ( I watered it often...in my defense), through the fall.....and you guessed it the winter. I chalked the death of the plant up to yet another wasted $10. (I tend to lose money this way, often,...another of my self-improvement goals...that I'm actually succeeding at, is to not buy anything on impulse....no excuses...it doesn't matter how much I "need" it or "have always wanted it".) So, the other day when I went down to the house to get a pair of my spring shoes.....I happened to look down at the poor "dead" rhubarb plant, and was prepared yet again to chastise myself for my wasteful habits....when I noticed.....the rhubarb was growing! Yep. you read right, growing, and thriving....I was happy. Probably, overly happy, but happy all the same. And, I have to admit I was impressed by the hardiness of that little plant.
So, now I am happy to announce that the rhubarb is now safely ensconced in a nice quiet spot near the corner of my house....where it'll get sunlight most of the day and get enough water when it rains.
After that was done, and all the newly planted plants had been watered (courtesy of my pump...which I pumped for about 10 minutes to get the rust out). I decided it was time to get rid of the redneck porch chair my ex had left when he left 4 years ago. His redneck porch couch is still there, but is going next weekend when I have help from the boys.
By this point I was huffing and puffing and sweating like a stuck pig, but still not ready to give in.....so, I started to dig up the top soil in yet another of my overly neglected flower beds. And, after 10 minutes of working on that one...I was ready to concede defeat.
So, after making sure I had cleaned all my messes up (which I had done as I went along...thus making the final clean-up pretty quick), I went home to Mom and Dad's, took a shower and some ibuprofen (for my already screaming muscles), and got back to work on my TWS.
Monday, April 5, 2010
Fear
I'm so, afraid of failing. I fear that when push comes to shove I'm going to fall flat on my face. I am scared that I don't know enough Spanish to actually teach it.....
So, my plan is; to practice, and study and do my darndest to get stronger in my skills...so that the fear will just have to go away.
Ok, got that out of my system....now I can sleep!
So, my plan is; to practice, and study and do my darndest to get stronger in my skills...so that the fear will just have to go away.
Ok, got that out of my system....now I can sleep!
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Pot holes, road blocks and Flat tires
Isn't it funny what life throws at us? How we handle these obstacles determines who we are as people. Over the past few months I've come to know a lot about myself. And, for the most part...I like what I've found out, but I've also come face to face with aspects of myself, that I've either never recognized or acknowledged, but can no longer ignore.
I've come to recognize in myself a need to procrastinate. It's as though I'm an addict and cannot function without it. So, time for me to change.
I'm one of those people who has prayed the Serenity Prayer many times throughout her life. One thing I've never thought of up to now is the meaning behind those wonderful, calming, hope giving words. And, the fact that when we pray them...we'd better be [repared for God to answer them.
When we say got grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Well, he puts us in situations that open our eyes to the things about our selves and our lives that we cannot change (at least not alone).
When we ask him for the courage to change the things we can. He will make us follow through....we'll see the ugly things in ourselves...the sin...the impurities if you will....and He expects us to CHANGE them. (Why else did we ask for the courage to do that?)
And finally, when we end that prayer by asking Him for the wisdom to know the difference. He will expect us to listen to Him.....how else will we gain the wisdom we asked for...if we don't take the time to open our hearts and ears to our heavenly Father?
So, now.....I have to ask myself.....what do I do with this epiphany...which by the way...literally came to me as I started to type this entry...(leave it to God to open my eyes as I sat to write a blog about the frustrations of flat tires and commuting!).....I'll pray of course...as I always do, and I will start on a new path, and work on those changes that God's been shining his spotlight on in my life for the past year.....you know...those ones that I've seen but chose to ignore and the ones I've been putting off until tomorrow.
Easter is a time for introspection, a time to face our fears, sins and yes..even hopes. Easter is my favorite holiday....because Easter is the reason I have a Savior.....Easter is more than bunnies and candies....Easter is the reason I can hope, and the reason I believe.
Easter is my thanksgiving....the day I thank God for every sacrifice He made for a person such as myself, for my children, for people like my ex, and for our world....whether we are black, white, brown or yellow....Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Jewish. He sent His only Son for all of us....and the only thing he asks is that we believe and live as He did while He walked the walk and talked the talk.
I've come to recognize in myself a need to procrastinate. It's as though I'm an addict and cannot function without it. So, time for me to change.
I'm one of those people who has prayed the Serenity Prayer many times throughout her life. One thing I've never thought of up to now is the meaning behind those wonderful, calming, hope giving words. And, the fact that when we pray them...we'd better be [repared for God to answer them.
When we say got grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Well, he puts us in situations that open our eyes to the things about our selves and our lives that we cannot change (at least not alone).
When we ask him for the courage to change the things we can. He will make us follow through....we'll see the ugly things in ourselves...the sin...the impurities if you will....and He expects us to CHANGE them. (Why else did we ask for the courage to do that?)
And finally, when we end that prayer by asking Him for the wisdom to know the difference. He will expect us to listen to Him.....how else will we gain the wisdom we asked for...if we don't take the time to open our hearts and ears to our heavenly Father?
So, now.....I have to ask myself.....what do I do with this epiphany...which by the way...literally came to me as I started to type this entry...(leave it to God to open my eyes as I sat to write a blog about the frustrations of flat tires and commuting!).....I'll pray of course...as I always do, and I will start on a new path, and work on those changes that God's been shining his spotlight on in my life for the past year.....you know...those ones that I've seen but chose to ignore and the ones I've been putting off until tomorrow.
Easter is a time for introspection, a time to face our fears, sins and yes..even hopes. Easter is my favorite holiday....because Easter is the reason I have a Savior.....Easter is more than bunnies and candies....Easter is the reason I can hope, and the reason I believe.
Easter is my thanksgiving....the day I thank God for every sacrifice He made for a person such as myself, for my children, for people like my ex, and for our world....whether we are black, white, brown or yellow....Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Jewish. He sent His only Son for all of us....and the only thing he asks is that we believe and live as He did while He walked the walk and talked the talk.
Saturday, February 20, 2010
I Saw the Light and I'm Scared
I cannot believe I'm writing this blog, but I think it may help somebody someday. So, here goes.
All of my life I've realized that I weigh more than the average person, and I've tried soooo many times to actually lose the weight, but after making a promise to myself to actually do something serious about the problem this year, I've come to realize just how far gone I am and how far I have to go. And, I'm scared.
I can blame stress, unhappiness, bi-polarism, genetics, and abusive marriage, low-income, snow and many, many, other things for my extreme obesity...BUT...I am not going to. For the first time in my life...I'm going to face my accountability in my weight. I am at this time just short of 300 pounds. By that I mean I weigh 287 pounds. This isn't my heaviest weight, but it is way more than the spot I want to be!
I've set myself a goal of losing 25 pounds by my birthday in May. So, far I've gained 3. Ummm.....I think I need to start getting serious!
I need to excersize, cut out sugar, and journal my food intake. Those are my starter goals. I've already cut out almost all soda...I say almost because over the past three months...I've started back into sneaking a soda here and there. My biggest roadblock is sitting at home. It seems I cannot sit in the livingroom for any extended amount of time without mindlessly drinking sodas. I went from having no soda intake to drinking 4 cans yesterday! YIKES! My body does not like that! So, I've made a promise to myself to pay more attention. Oh and to avoid the cookies that mom keeps making. Ay ya ya...living with a food pusher is never easy!
I feel optimistic though. I know that once I set my mind to something...I usually accomplish it. Not many women can say they escaped a marriage riddled with abuse, with five kids in tow, and then manage to go back to college, and take a returning GPA of 1.67 and change it to 3.69 in one year...then go on to another University and continue their education.
Over the past four years since my divorce I've been in 2 serious relationships and had my heart broke twice, but I've come to see how I was relying on men to justify my worth. I'm re-learning how to be in a relationship...man, is that hard! I've spent the majority of my life sabotaging myself, but I've finally thrown down the gauntlet and said enough is enough!
If I can succeed in school...I CAN succeed in losing this weight! So, at 5'5", 36 years, 9 months of age, and 287 pounds...I am declaring war on my inner demons and praying that God will continue to help me and guide me and just plain love me...as he (I once again realize) always has.
And Amy, since you are the only person I know who actually reads this....I just want to say thank you for always being my best friend in this world. And would you pray for me? I think I'm gonna need it! =)
All of my life I've realized that I weigh more than the average person, and I've tried soooo many times to actually lose the weight, but after making a promise to myself to actually do something serious about the problem this year, I've come to realize just how far gone I am and how far I have to go. And, I'm scared.
I can blame stress, unhappiness, bi-polarism, genetics, and abusive marriage, low-income, snow and many, many, other things for my extreme obesity...BUT...I am not going to. For the first time in my life...I'm going to face my accountability in my weight. I am at this time just short of 300 pounds. By that I mean I weigh 287 pounds. This isn't my heaviest weight, but it is way more than the spot I want to be!
I've set myself a goal of losing 25 pounds by my birthday in May. So, far I've gained 3. Ummm.....I think I need to start getting serious!
I need to excersize, cut out sugar, and journal my food intake. Those are my starter goals. I've already cut out almost all soda...I say almost because over the past three months...I've started back into sneaking a soda here and there. My biggest roadblock is sitting at home. It seems I cannot sit in the livingroom for any extended amount of time without mindlessly drinking sodas. I went from having no soda intake to drinking 4 cans yesterday! YIKES! My body does not like that! So, I've made a promise to myself to pay more attention. Oh and to avoid the cookies that mom keeps making. Ay ya ya...living with a food pusher is never easy!
I feel optimistic though. I know that once I set my mind to something...I usually accomplish it. Not many women can say they escaped a marriage riddled with abuse, with five kids in tow, and then manage to go back to college, and take a returning GPA of 1.67 and change it to 3.69 in one year...then go on to another University and continue their education.
Over the past four years since my divorce I've been in 2 serious relationships and had my heart broke twice, but I've come to see how I was relying on men to justify my worth. I'm re-learning how to be in a relationship...man, is that hard! I've spent the majority of my life sabotaging myself, but I've finally thrown down the gauntlet and said enough is enough!
If I can succeed in school...I CAN succeed in losing this weight! So, at 5'5", 36 years, 9 months of age, and 287 pounds...I am declaring war on my inner demons and praying that God will continue to help me and guide me and just plain love me...as he (I once again realize) always has.
And Amy, since you are the only person I know who actually reads this....I just want to say thank you for always being my best friend in this world. And would you pray for me? I think I'm gonna need it! =)
Sunday, February 14, 2010
A Brand New Path to Explore!
I'm taking my blog down a new path. Not sure where it will lead, but gonna give 'er a shot and see.
I'm going to continue being myself, but am going to add more of my everyday stuff to my blog.
I made a new recipe last night. http://www.womansday.com/Recipes/Hearty-Italian-Sausage-Vegetable-Soup-Recipe
I did what I always do...start with the printed recipe, and then...make it my own! Since I cook for 8-9 people when I cook a meal, and the recipe was for 4; I added to the amounts called for and added some different things! I added zuchini. I took 4 medium zuchinis and cut them into 1" pieces and then quartered those. And, I used a large can of chicken broth in place of the smaller size called for in the magazine. I also added italian seasoning and a pinch of pepper. Another obstacle I hit with the recipe was that it called for Italian sausages that come in casings. I live in rural Iowa...we don't have these! So. I went to my local Fareway Store (bless these folks!)http://www.fareway.com/ and got regular bulk Italian seasoned sausage from the butchers. When I browned the sausage; I just made sure to keep big chunks, and it turned out great!
I rarely make dessert, but I've been craving bread pudding. So, I broke down and made my family famous bread pudding. It turned out great as well...so I was a happy chef.
Today, after church. I got my Sunday school class started on our new Bible Study lessons. We are now going through the book of James, using the Max Lucado Life Lessons book. Today's lesson was on Growing closer to God through our trial, and let me tell ya folks...it spoke volumes to me. My life the last 4-5 months has been full of small trivial trials that have almost smothered me. Today's lesson helped me to see that; number one, I've been doing somethings right...like praying and completely trusting in God; and number two God is allowing me to go through these trials to help strengthen my spirit. So, knowing this has actually helped me, and I came out of the lesson...encouraged.
I just hope my boys (today's class was all boys!) got some insight and encouragement as well. Just a note on teaching a class full of Jr. Sr. high school aged boys.......It's like herding cattle!
OK, got that outta my system.
Now, time for me to finish my day. Clothes to wash, kids to taxi, homework to finish, friends to help out and supper to cook.....and this is my "light" day! Ay ya ya ...LOL!
Later gators!
Sep
I'm going to continue being myself, but am going to add more of my everyday stuff to my blog.
I made a new recipe last night. http://www.womansday.com/Recipes/Hearty-Italian-Sausage-Vegetable-Soup-Recipe
I did what I always do...start with the printed recipe, and then...make it my own! Since I cook for 8-9 people when I cook a meal, and the recipe was for 4; I added to the amounts called for and added some different things! I added zuchini. I took 4 medium zuchinis and cut them into 1" pieces and then quartered those. And, I used a large can of chicken broth in place of the smaller size called for in the magazine. I also added italian seasoning and a pinch of pepper. Another obstacle I hit with the recipe was that it called for Italian sausages that come in casings. I live in rural Iowa...we don't have these! So. I went to my local Fareway Store (bless these folks!)http://www.fareway.com/ and got regular bulk Italian seasoned sausage from the butchers. When I browned the sausage; I just made sure to keep big chunks, and it turned out great!
I rarely make dessert, but I've been craving bread pudding. So, I broke down and made my family famous bread pudding. It turned out great as well...so I was a happy chef.
Today, after church. I got my Sunday school class started on our new Bible Study lessons. We are now going through the book of James, using the Max Lucado Life Lessons book. Today's lesson was on Growing closer to God through our trial, and let me tell ya folks...it spoke volumes to me. My life the last 4-5 months has been full of small trivial trials that have almost smothered me. Today's lesson helped me to see that; number one, I've been doing somethings right...like praying and completely trusting in God; and number two God is allowing me to go through these trials to help strengthen my spirit. So, knowing this has actually helped me, and I came out of the lesson...encouraged.
I just hope my boys (today's class was all boys!) got some insight and encouragement as well. Just a note on teaching a class full of Jr. Sr. high school aged boys.......It's like herding cattle!
OK, got that outta my system.
Now, time for me to finish my day. Clothes to wash, kids to taxi, homework to finish, friends to help out and supper to cook.....and this is my "light" day! Ay ya ya ...LOL!
Later gators!
Sep
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Oy Vey
Tired, beaten and fed-up...that would explain my spirit the best at present time, but that's just cuz I'm in a pessimistic mood today. I get this way one or two days every month it seems. *sigh*
Thank the Lord it passes as quickly as it comes on. I can't imagine what life is like for people who are just constantly in this state of mind. UGH!
Well, anyway. I just felt a need to vent and I did and I already feel better. Time for me to get off the silly puter now and do my Bible study and get this day started the right way! =)
Thank the Lord it passes as quickly as it comes on. I can't imagine what life is like for people who are just constantly in this state of mind. UGH!
Well, anyway. I just felt a need to vent and I did and I already feel better. Time for me to get off the silly puter now and do my Bible study and get this day started the right way! =)
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