Time Keeps on Slippin'........

To say, it's been a few days since I last blogged would be a major understatement. Sorry for that.

Life has been a bit hectic of late. School has actually gotten better. I had lost my zest there for awhile, and had slipped back into some very self-destructive behaviors. I can't say that I've pulled myself completely free from the backslide, but I can say that I've made some huge steps forward.

Some of the things I've survived recently:
----a huge tree in my yard caught on fire in the middle of the night a few nights ago. I am blessed to have awesome neighbors (the Claytons) who saw the fire and called to tell us and then joined us all in our jammies as we fought the blaze until the firemen could get there.
----a persistent sinus infection, and no health insurance; I cannot wait to work again and have the comfort of being able to go to the doctor whenever I need to. I never have known what it's like to live at this level of poverty before in my entire life. I can only think that, the Lord needs me to go through this so I can never again take security for granted.
----hitting deer, afer deer, after deer, and driving around in my poor abused van...everyday humbles me. I have already decided that if I ever get in a position, to help other women who are going through these struggles, in the future...I so will. I know I can't wait until the day I can hold my head high again and have some joy in my vehicle (I never knew how a crappy vehicle can destroy a person's esteem).

I am going through changes inside myself almost everyday; which is a good thing, because if we fail to learn and change; we fail to grow and succeed.

Continued prays for the boys would be great, Trini and Ed are at a dangerous stage; in that they are now teens and struggling to master hormones, and struggling grades. I wish I could help them, but I seem to keep failing them. I just feel like bawling some days, because they deserve so much more than what have to offer. I just keep praying and trying to help them to the best of my ability; most importantly I keep loving them.

Joe, Jake and Niko are all doing good. They are sigining up for little league baseball this summer. This is a positive step for our family, because since Lalo and I split and I started back to school; I've not been able to pay for or get them to practices and games. This year I am going to do without a few things, but I will get them there! I hope this help them a bit.

All five boys are having esteem issues. My goal for the next few months is to work on this problem. Any ideas would be awesome!

My Very First Step

Well, here I am blogging, not sure yet what this will become...I suppose we'll see. I will share pieces of myself here. Sure hope I don't offend anyone horrendously or bore anyone to death. (I'd hate to have that on my conscious..geesh...the pressure!)

What can I say about me to make you read this? I don't really know...so knowing me, I'll put a bunch of random thoughts here and let you go along for the ride. (You'll have to pick through the toughts at your own risk.)

Seriously though, I am an adult with A.D.D. and P.T.S.D. I can be a bit random (to put it politely).

My spelling and grammar may not always be the the best. I tend to slip into my mid-western vernacular at times...I'll try not to swear on here. (That is a hard habit to break, but an easy one to acquire..unfortunately.)

For anyone wondering what in the world I am doing by using the parenthese. I'm sharing my thought process with you. For everything I say...I think a sentence as well. (Sometimes I wish I could do this in my day-to-day life...so people would get what I am saying better.)

I am thinking that I should probably share a bit about me, myself and I. I am a mom, a student, an ex-wife, a daughter, a chef, and a bunch bunch more. I have a lot of hobbies and interests and at the moment no time to do very much other than go to classes and raise my sons. (sigh...someday..I will finish my unfished projects!)

I don't go out very often as money is constantly tight around here. Here being the extreme Southwestern corner of Iowa. When I do get a chance to go somewhere I savor the moments. Usually though I look for things to do close to home. (I love the quietness of my little town.)

I live in the town I grew up in. Many of my friends have moved to bigger places far from here (I miss them), but it has been an easy choice for me to stay here (it's where I'm rooted). I like being close to my loved ones (I am such a homey person, I even shake my head at myself sometimes), and am grateful to have the opportunity to be close to them and that the boys have that chance as well. (Of course, I know the time will come for me to spread my wings and fly will come someday....so I am gathering every moment I can now...so that when the time comes for me to go onward, I will always have my home in my heart.)

Now, a bit about my sons. They are Trinidad (Trini), age 14; Eduardo (Ed), age 12 3/4; Joseph (Joe), age 10 1/2; Jacob (Jake), age 8 1/4; and Diego (Niko), age 6 3/4.

Trini, Ed and Joe have decided to give me more gray hair by going through all the stages of puberty at the same time. Trini shaved his mustache for the first time today. =) He then proceeded to tell everyone he met (he is soooooo my child!), from the lady in the bakery to the nurse at the doctor's office (he was home sick with sinus and allergies...poor kiddo).
Ed and Joe are just getting started with the testosterone surges...I just pray I will survive these next turbulent years.

I think I'll be done for tonight. If anyone reads this; I hope you at least got a smile from it. I'll get better as time goes onward to be sure, so please keep reading and any feedback is good as long as it isn't spam or mean (I'll just iggy any meanies...I don't have time for them!)

*Random Thought of the Day*
"The sun is always brighter......... when it rises to eye level as you are driving toward it!" =P