To say, it's been a few days since I last blogged would be a major understatement. Sorry for that.
Life has been a bit hectic of late. School has actually gotten better. I had lost my zest there for awhile, and had slipped back into some very self-destructive behaviors. I can't say that I've pulled myself completely free from the backslide, but I can say that I've made some huge steps forward.
Some of the things I've survived recently:
----a huge tree in my yard caught on fire in the middle of the night a few nights ago. I am blessed to have awesome neighbors (the Claytons) who saw the fire and called to tell us and then joined us all in our jammies as we fought the blaze until the firemen could get there.
----a persistent sinus infection, and no health insurance; I cannot wait to work again and have the comfort of being able to go to the doctor whenever I need to. I never have known what it's like to live at this level of poverty before in my entire life. I can only think that, the Lord needs me to go through this so I can never again take security for granted.
----hitting deer, afer deer, after deer, and driving around in my poor abused van...everyday humbles me. I have already decided that if I ever get in a position, to help other women who are going through these struggles, in the future...I so will. I know I can't wait until the day I can hold my head high again and have some joy in my vehicle (I never knew how a crappy vehicle can destroy a person's esteem).
I am going through changes inside myself almost everyday; which is a good thing, because if we fail to learn and change; we fail to grow and succeed.
Continued prays for the boys would be great, Trini and Ed are at a dangerous stage; in that they are now teens and struggling to master hormones, and struggling grades. I wish I could help them, but I seem to keep failing them. I just feel like bawling some days, because they deserve so much more than what have to offer. I just keep praying and trying to help them to the best of my ability; most importantly I keep loving them.
Joe, Jake and Niko are all doing good. They are sigining up for little league baseball this summer. This is a positive step for our family, because since Lalo and I split and I started back to school; I've not been able to pay for or get them to practices and games. This year I am going to do without a few things, but I will get them there! I hope this help them a bit.
All five boys are having esteem issues. My goal for the next few months is to work on this problem. Any ideas would be awesome!