In My Thoughts Today

I seem to be caught up in my thoughts today
wrap in a tangled mess
Thinking of the ones
I love fighting battles I cannot fight
Thinking of the past
the present the future

Of the people I miss
The people I don't
The people I want to, and know I should, but just can't bring myself to

I find You in my thoughts today
Hiding there....
as you always do....
making me seek you and yet
I find you in plain view

In my thoughts today
I'm joyous and sad and tragically glad
And I find that rhyming is too easy
So......I'll just be content to be

In my thoughts today.

An Untitled Kinda Day

I just had a day
you know the kind
the one where nothing really goes wrong
but nothing really goes right.

I just had a day
where I didn't get very much done
and yet I seemed to go forward
an unwitting spectator
drug by the current of the day.

I just had a day
an untitled kind of day
the kind that waits patiently
or rather...impatiently to be defined
and yet both you and the day are left
in suspense wondering when ......

the definition will begin.

Unexpected One

Unexpected one
appearing now before me
presenting possibilities
shining light on the dreams I'd lost

Unexpected one
like a ninja in the night
creeping in so stealthily
until I can no longer imagine
what it means to exist without you

Unexpected one
glorious in your very essence
bringing light into my darkness
reawakening my soul

My unexpected one.


**Note**
I composed this poem as I drove. My mind wandering in its thoughts....thinking of how unexpected people (children, friends, lovers, etc.) can come into our lives and change us forever.....I forgot how it all went...there was more....and as I recall it....I may add to this...but for now I am satisfied with what I can recall.

The Brutality of My Reality

The brutality of my reality
 makes me want to scream....to rage!
The never ending chaos
seems to devour my existence.
Causing me to lose sight of all I Need to see.
the things that give me hope...
the things that pull me through...
the things that carry me over and past the pain
the things involving you.
The brutality of my reality
teaches me to cherish...
the peaceful times and be thankful for them all.

Infected by Storms

My spirit is in a battle

infected …..overcome

overwhelmed I battle forward

as I rage like a storm

the chaos that envelopes me

overrules my greater need

to have a peaceful existence...

to prosper and be free

the storms that infect my consciousness

are daunting to be honest

and yet I feel somehow….

blessed for their presence.

Travel Notes (2 Blogs in a day)......Yikes!

Searching, searching.......searching.
Seeking for the words.


Blankness, darkness, chaos....
Seem to rule the words.


Despair, turmoil, defeat?
Not I....


Not I.


Not I...
Determined, triumphant, delightful!


Completeness, lightness, order...
Freeing the captive words.


Spilling forth to freedom on the page....
Found, found, found.


Once more.

Blankness, darkness, chaos

Whoa doggies! It has been awhile hasn't it? It seems as though I have lost the ability to express my thoughts in a coherent manner.........BUT, I'm going to make the attempt.
What's up with that awesome title....sheesh. Well, those were the most appropriate words to describe my lack of bloggitude here of late. My mind has been on vacation I think.

K, nuff with the scuses. Going to get started.....

Determination to not accept failure has been the driving force of my life for most of the past 6+ years. The day I left my then husband, five sons in tow and hid for our safety in a domestic violence shelter, was the day I knew I could no longer accept failure as an excuse for anything. And so, I went forward....until here recently. Being the overly introspective person I am....I have come to the conclusion it is time to rediscover the drive to succeed that has carried me so very far over the course of the past few years.

To say I am a driven person would be an understatement. It is my drive that is my blessing and my curse. A blessing in that it has enabled me to accomplish amazing feats that many thought I would never be able to do. A curse in that my ferocity has caused me to lose people I cared about, or scared others away. But it's who I am....so whacha gonna do? *smiles*

OK, this was pretty lame as blogs go. But, at least it was something, which is better than nothing, and only half as good as anything!

Feel free to quote that.....lol.....you know you want to!.....well....OK.....I want to......hmmm........can you say Facebook?........Things are looking up......I see a Pullitzer in my future........now, just need to make everyone else see. =P