Saturday, April 17, 2010

Screaming Muscles, but Still Chuggin' Along

OK, to be fair to myself, I need to first state that I have been a procrastinator since birth, seriously, I was born 5 weeks late!
That being said, I have been working hard the past few weeks to overcome my procrastinator tendencies...until yesterday. 
Here's the situation...I have my Teacher Work Sample due this coming week...I have had 14 weeks to work on this...and I have approximately 2 of the 7 sections done. So, what did I do? I sat down and messed around for about 2 hours, roaming Facebook, and the internet at large...before I gave up and went down to my yard to work.
I dug up an entire flower bed...I'm talking top soil and all here folks. I then proceeded to replace my eco friendly flower bed border, and then to knock all of the usable dirt off of the top soil, etc. and then mixed in some bagged top soil with the added vitamins and nutrients stuff that the lovely people at Miracle grow put into their "bag o' dirt", dirt.
After I'd gotten that done I planted two types of tulips in my ring o' flowers (what is it with me and the usage of 0' today!?...I dunno either...just go with me here.) They are very pretty in the package we'll see how they grow up to look. They were Wally world Susan Komen breast-Cancer awareness are!
I can't wait to see how they turn out.

I of course...still had energy to spare and was not even close to being ready to go back home to mom and dad's and actually work on my paper. So, I wandered around my house (it's a 3 season house and I can't afford to stay there yet, but hopefully will be able to soon!) and planted my rhubarb plant. 
Now, I have to share the story of this plant with you. (More confessions of procrastination here.) I bought this plant last........May (as in a year ago...*sigh), with the honest intention of planting right away in my yard.  Alas, that poor plant sat in it's cheap, plastic greenhouse pot...through the entire summer ( I watered it my defense), through the fall.....and you guessed it the winter.  I chalked the death of the plant up to yet another wasted $10. (I tend to lose money this way, often,...another of my self-improvement goals...that I'm actually succeeding at, is to not buy anything on doesn't matter how much I "need" it or "have always wanted it".) So, the other day when I went down to the house to get a pair of my spring shoes.....I happened to look down at the poor "dead" rhubarb plant, and was prepared yet again to chastise myself for my wasteful habits....when I noticed.....the rhubarb was growing! Yep. you read right, growing, and thriving....I was happy. Probably, overly happy, but happy all the same. And, I have to admit I was impressed by the hardiness of that little plant.

So, now I am happy to announce that the rhubarb is now safely ensconced in a nice quiet spot near the corner of my house....where it'll get sunlight most of the day and get enough water when it rains.

After that was done, and all the newly planted plants had been watered (courtesy of my pump...which I pumped for about 10 minutes to get the rust out). I decided it was time to get rid of the redneck porch chair my ex had left when he left 4 years ago.  His redneck porch couch is still there, but is going next weekend when I have help from the boys.  

By this point I was huffing and puffing and sweating like a stuck pig, but still not ready to give, I started to dig up the top soil in yet another of my overly neglected flower beds.  And, after 10 minutes of working on that one...I was ready to concede defeat. 

So, after making sure I had cleaned all my messes up (which I had done as I went along...thus making the final clean-up pretty quick), I went home to Mom and Dad's, took a shower and some ibuprofen (for my already screaming muscles), and got back to work on my TWS.

And , that's how my journey goes so far.  As for today, I have now reorganized my bookmarks, checked my facebook, volunteered to crochet stuff for preemies, and written what is probably one of the longest blogs I have ever written.....SO, I am now going to cease my procrastinating and get the silly TWS finished!! So, I can stop procrastinating on my 8 page Senior Seminar paper...that has to be written in Spanish...Ay ya ya! =)

Monday, April 5, 2010


I'm so, afraid of failing. I fear that when push comes to shove I'm going to fall flat on my face. I am scared that I don't know enough Spanish to actually teach it.....

So, my plan is; to practice, and study and do my darndest to get stronger in my that the fear will just have to go away. 

Ok, got that out of my I can sleep!

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Pot holes, road blocks and Flat tires

Isn't it funny what life throws at us? How we handle these obstacles determines who we are as people. Over the past few months I've come to know a lot about myself. And, for the most part...I like what I've found out, but I've also come face to face with aspects of myself, that I've either never recognized or acknowledged, but can no longer ignore.

I've come to recognize in myself a need to procrastinate. It's as though I'm an addict and cannot function without it. So, time for me to change.

I'm one of those people who has prayed the Serenity Prayer many times throughout her life. One thing I've never thought of up to now is the meaning behind those wonderful, calming, hope giving words. And, the fact that when we pray them...we'd better be [repared for God to answer them.

When we say got grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Well, he puts us in situations that open our eyes to the things about our selves and our lives that we cannot change (at least not alone).

When we ask him for the courage to change the things we can. He will make us follow through....we'll see the ugly things in ourselves...the sin...the impurities if you will....and He expects us to CHANGE them. (Why else did we ask for the courage to do that?)

And finally, when we end that prayer by asking Him for the wisdom to know the difference. He will expect us to listen to else will we gain the wisdom we asked for...if we don't take the time to open our hearts and ears to our heavenly Father?

So, now.....I have to ask myself.....what do I do with this epiphany...which by the way...literally came to me as I started to type this entry...(leave it to God to open my eyes as I sat to write a blog about the frustrations of flat tires and commuting!).....I'll pray of I always do, and I will start on a new path, and work on those changes that God's been shining his spotlight on in my life for the past know...those ones that I've seen but chose to ignore and the ones I've been putting off until tomorrow.

Easter is a time for introspection, a time to face our fears, sins and yes..even hopes. Easter is my favorite holiday....because Easter is the reason I have a Savior.....Easter is more than bunnies and candies....Easter is the reason I can hope, and the reason I believe.

Easter is my thanksgiving....the day I thank God for every sacrifice He made for a person such as myself, for my children, for people like my ex, and for our world....whether we are black, white, brown or yellow....Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or Jewish. He sent His only Son for all of us....and the only thing he asks is that we believe and live as He did while He walked the walk and talked the talk.